To Lose Trust
by Starlight Soul
Summary: Chapter Four is up!Depression is a monster that steals away your life. Rated for language, future violence, and Yaoi content. Please R&R. I don't own RW.
1. Default Chapter

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To Lose Trust

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I'm sorry, I know it isn't right but it hurts so much…

Shin let his hand fall away from the knife as blood pooled around him. He watched in fascination as the ruby pool slowly grew and his head began to swim. The room blurred just as two pair of feet came into view. _No!_

" Holy Shit! Touma get in here now." Shuu cried, seeing Shin of the floor in a pool of blood. 

" What is… Fuck!" exclaimed Touma walking in," Shuu grab some towels and a blanket."

The blue haired warrior clamped a hand on each slashed wrist and pressed, pinning them between the floor and his hands. When Shuu returned, they switched places and Touma checked the older boys breathing and pulse. Both were weak and that worried the archer. Touma quickly called for an ambulance. When he looked back down, distant aqua eyes stared at him.

" Let me die Touma." Begged the water warrior," Please, I can't do this anymore. It hurts Touma. It hurts and I can't make it stop."

" I'll help you make it stop hurting Shin but this isn't the way… Isn't that what you always tell me?" said Touma hiding his tears," Shuu go wait for the ambulance I'll do this."

" I'm tired Touma." The small mans words were beginning to blur together," Is it always this scary?" his eyes started closing.

" Don't close your eyes Shin!" ordered Touma hearing the ambulance," You can't die on us. Do you hear me?"

" I'm cold…" whispered pale lips.

Touma didn't dare let up the pressure on his friends' arms but before he could react the paramedics were there, ushering him out of the way. As they worked, Touma could hear them talking.

" I never expected this." Said the older paramedic.

" You've been here before."

" Always sticking me with the newbies…" sighed the older man," I've been here three times in the last six months to get this kids buddy." He sighed as he started the I.V. the younger medic was having trouble with," This guy seemed to be held together better than the others."

" What's your name?" the younger paramedic asked Shin.

Shin started to close his eyes but the older guy stepped in," Shin, open your eyes." He ordered. Shin complied with great effort," Blue!" he said referring to Touma," Get over here and talk to him. I want to keep an eye on you too."

" Come on Shin, you've got to stay awake buddy." Said Touma moving with the stretcher," Shuu, drive your van and meet us at the hospital, I'll call the others on the way."

" I'll pick Ryo up along the way." Replied Shuu mechanically, as he watched them rush his best friend away.

Touma nodded and turned his attention back to Shin. The ride seemed to take hours though it was only a ten-minute ride to the hospital. Without though he dialed Ryo's cell phone.

" Hello…"

" Ryo, Shuu's coming to get you. Shin and I are going to the hospital."

" Touma, slow down and tell me what's happening."

" Hold on Shin." Soothed Touma brushing long auburn locks out of his face." Shuu will explain. I've got to call Seiji and Nasuti so they can meet us at the hospital." He hung up without saying more.

He quickly called Seiji, who promised to call Nasuti, and was relieved by the knowledge that they wouldn't take long in reaching the hospital. As they pulled up to the hospital, he could see the life leaving Shin's eyes but he refused to lose hope.

Inside, the doctors left him standing alone as they tried to save the warrior of Trust. Touma had no idea where to go or what to do so he stood there. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he realized that he wasn't alone. 

" There's nothing you can do right now but hope and pray." Said the older paramedic," Come on, Blue, let's find you something clean to wear."

Touma looked down at his white shirt and blue jeans only to find them stained red with blood," Thank you."

" So tell me, Blue, how many times have you been in this place? Everyone seems to know you on sight."

" I've been here too many times to remember." Sighed Touma accepting the scrubs handed to him," It's just these last three times that I put myself here." Touma found himself staring at his feet.

That hand, both strong and kind, rested on his shoulder once more," We've all done things we regret, Blue. Why don't you go change before your friends get here. Make sure you wash off all the blood, your friends will be worried enough without thinking that you're hurt too." The man turned to leave but stopped suddenly and turned back," Oh, Touma, next time I see you in my ambulance it better not be something that you did on purpose. See ya later Blue."

Touma was stunned but he quickly returned to changing. When he was finished he turned to the small sink and scrubbed the blood off his hands and arms. Once finished, he went in search of information about Shin. Retracing his steps he made his way back to the room where they had been working on Shin. To his horror, he found the room empty. 

" Excuse me, can you tell me where they took my friend?" asked Touma.

" They just took him up to the ICU Touma." Replied the nurse.

" Touma! What in the hell is going on?" asked Seiji rushing up.

" Shin's in the ICU." Answered Touma fighting his tears.


	2. Questions Without Answers

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To Lose Trust 

Chapter Two: 

Questions without Answers

" Shin's in the ICU." Touma repeated barely containing his tears.

" What happened?" Seiji asked feeling suddenly numb.

Touma broke, the maelstrom of emotion he had been hiding reared its ugly face," He said he wanted to die. There was so much blood. Seiji, what if I hadn't forgotten my wallet? What if we hadn't gone home? I can't lose him too." Tears ran diamond trails down pale skin.

Seiji tried to comfort his friend, though he refused to use meaning platitudes. He was so busy that he missed the slip, something that never would have gotten by the bearer of Suiko.

" Touma, you have to calm down a little." murmured Seiji," I don't want you passing out on us. I'll heal Shin and well figure out what's going on."

" What if he won't let you?" sniffled Touma.

" I'll set Nasuti on him. You know how he's been lately." grinned Seiji.

" How much longer does she have?" asked Touma.

" Five weeks." 

" That long!" exclaimed Touma," She looks ready to burst."

" Not funny Touma!" pouted Nasuti," Where's Shin, and what has happened?"

The two young warriors sobered quickly," He's in the ICU."

" What..." tears began running down her rosy cheeks.

" We don't know details yet." answered Seiji moving to comfort his young wife.

" When will we know?" she asked not trying to stop her tears.

" Dr. Okawa will..." 

" Touma," said the tall nurse interrupting the blue haired warrior," Dr. Okawa said to have you wait in the private waiting are around the corner. He'll be around shortly. I'll send your friends as they come."

" Thank you Akaino." answered Touma softly.

" Oh, Touma, when your strong friend gets here, there's a recliner in the staff lounge that you can move for Nasuti."

It was Seiji's relieved thank you that replied but it didn't matter to Akaino, They were all good people. They didn't wait for Shuu either. Together, Touma and Seiji easily moved the more comfortable seat. They were just getting Nasuti settled when Shuu and Ryo joined them followed by a grim Dr. Okawa.

Dr. Okawa was a young doctor, though he had the body of a man who spent as many hours in the dojo as he did in the ER. He had a long dark braid that seemed quite odd in the hospital but fit him perfectly. His eyes, dark like rich freshly turned soil, sparkled with a deeper more mysterious knowledge. As he entered, those dark eyes took in the room as if judging weather they would be able to handle the news he brought. Grim was not a good look for those eyes.

" Since you're all here, I'll give you the news." a deep breath, a sigh," The wounds were all self inflicted. The bruises, I'm not sure about and he's in no state to tell us. He has lost a lot of blood." A deep breath and planting of his feet as though to stabilize himself," Shin had a bad reaction to something we gave him, that's what put him in the ICU. He will be fine. He's young and strong, it didn't do any serious damage. He should be out of the ICU late tonight or early tomorrow. If I know your group though he may be out of here day after tomorrow."

" Can we see him?" asked Nasuti.

" Yes. I should warn you, he's on a respirator to ease his breathing. Also, he was wearing a lot of long sleeves I would assume." He waited for confirming nods," Many cuts are visible. Many scars as well. 

" Listen, I know you each have a pocket full of secrets but I've had two of you under my care now. The first one was one too many!" he sighed and the anger drained from his face," You are friends. No, more like brothers. Maybe it's time to share those secrets before they destroy you." 

Heads hung, eyes searching for a safe place to rest. It was an accusation that no one could deny. Did they want to deny it? Yes. Within the embrace of denial there was a safety that they knew. To deny those things that were too hard to face -- even harder than facing the dynasty -- was to set themselves on a downward spiral that was difficult to reverse. Silence hung in the air like a heavy fog that no one had the nerve to walk through. Touma, after an internal battle hidden behind a mask, shattered it like glass.

" It sounds so easy." he ran a long fingered hand through his hair," To break the silence that has been kept for years and years, it's as easy as tearing off your own arm. It is destroying us slowly, eating its way from the inside out but it is hard to break the silence that has protected us. Maybe you're right, maybe it's time to break the silence and maybe it will destroy us that much faster. You are right, we are like brothers. We've become the family that we lacked."

" Touma," said Nasuti so softly that he almost didn't hear her," Let's go see Shin." 

Dr. Okawa nodded silently. He knew the length at which Touma had kept his secret. His predecessor told him, passed the knowledge down from one doctor to the next so that there would always be someone to go to when things were bad. Someone who would understand if the worst came to pass. It did. In the daunting months after retirement, he saw the best of her faces and the worst. Neither were pretty. If he were honest, they scared the shit out of him.

The small group followed in the silence of deep thought. The doctor led them through a maze of bleached out halls that smelled not of life but of death clinging, if only barely, to life. If anyone thought about where they were going they would have been terrified. Shin, strong and unwavering in ways they didn't understand, was their rock. They always went to him when they needed help and suddenly that stabilizing force was in need of shoring up.

As they approached the door to Shin's room Dr. Okawa turned to them," I'll be back in a few moments, I'm going to set up for you to stay in the waiting room around the corner."

" Thank you." replied Nasuti softly.

They watched in silence as he left before entering the room. The sight shocked them. Shin looked small, smaller than they had ever seen him. The bed with its wires and tubes seemed to swallow him whole. More shocking than the loss of weight were the angry red cuts accented by pink scars. 

Nasuti, hand pressed against paling lips, sobbed softly," How did we not see this?"

" I don't know." answered Seiji moving up to place trembling hands on Shin's forehead. He closed his eyes and let himself be pulled into Shin's mind.

__

Seiji found himself sitting on a beach, the sun setting in vibrant reds and oranges. A little ways away Shin sat on a rock dangling his feet into the water. Seiji studied the older boy carefully from a distance. Shin wasn't the same. His long muscular arms wrapped around himself as though warding off some chill that Seiji didn't feel.

" Are you hear to heal me?" asked Shin.

" Yes." replied Seiji's worried voice," I wanted to talk to you first."

" I don't want to talk." Shin appeared next to Seiji.

" I think we need to talk." Said Seiji reaching out towards the auburn crowned man.

Shin jumped back as though afraid to be touched," I said No!" 

The scene changed around Seiji in the blink of an eye. The beautiful beach replaced by a raging sea and dark swirling clouds. At first glance Shin appeared to be gone but Seiji found him sitting in a small boat in the growing waves. Shin was in his element but Seiji knew he had to try and reach his friend. With a thought Seiji put himself in the boat across from Shin. 

" You don't take a hint do you." 

Seiji started to reach for Shin but thought better about it." Something is wrong and I... We're worried."

" I said I don't want to talk. Go away Seiji." 

" Shin..." 

" GO AWAY!" 

It was a mental slap that sent Seiji dizzily out of his mind and back to the real world where their friends waited with worried looks.

" He doesn't want to talk right now but he didn't say I couldn't heal him." Seiji said massaging his temple," He did, on the other hand, make it quite clear that he didn't want to talk."

" Will you heal him now or wait?" asked Ryo.

" I'll do it now. I should be fine as long as he doesn't get me with another mental slap like that." replied Seiji before placing his hands back on Shin. A green glow slowly engulfed the two of them.

" What in the hell is going on in here?" exclaimed Dr. Okawa walking in.

Touma turned, blue eyes wide with surprise," Dr. Okawa!"

" Please, come in and shut the door." sighed Ryo wondering if the day could get any worse.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Authors Note: Hi! Well, here's chapter two. Before you start ranting let me do some explaining. First of all, there will be a lot of places where people are out of character. This will get better, just understand stress does things that make people act out of character. Second, as much as I love the SeijixTouma pairing, I have other things in mind. I think that is everything. Chapter three should be coming soon. 

(Almost forgot) Disclaimer- I don't own RW/YST nor do I claim to. 


	3. Silence

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To Lose Trust

Chapter three

Silence

Dr. Okawa sat down heavily in the chair Touma motioned him too. Next to him, Seiji still glowed green with his hands on Shin. Dr. Okawa watched him closely. When Seiji collapsed into the chair, he was up and checking Seiji's vitals.

" Okay, What is going on here?" asked Dr. Okawa.

" How are you feeling Shin?" asked Touma seeing Shin open his eyes.

Dr. Okawa turned towards Shin," He still has the tube to help him breath. Shin, I'm going to take the tube out. I need you to do as I say." Dr. Okawa started detaching tubes," I'm going to count to three. I want you to take a deep breath and when I say three blow it all out. Are you ready?" He asked Shin. Shin nodded," One, Two, Three." He pulled as gently as possible though Shin coughed as he withdrew the end of the tube." Your throat will be sore for a few days. Now, let's talk about what's going on in here."

Seiji reached up to put his hand on Shin's throat but the older boy pulled away," Don't touch me."

" Shin…?" questioned Seiji.

Touma turned away from Shin to face the bigger problem," Ryo, we can trust him."

Ryo studied Touma carefully before making his decision," Why?"

Touma looked uncomfortable, his eyes roamed the room until they fell on Dr. Okawa," He's been keeping a secret for my family for nearly a year. He was the chosen successor of Dr. Tari. Dr. Tari kept the secret a lot longer than I can remember."

Ryo looked to Shin who just looked away," okay, Dr. Okawa, do you remember all the strange stuff that happened a couple of years ago?"

" Yes, I was just finishing medical school." Replied Dr. Okawa while watching Shin carefully.

" Do you remember the tales of armored warriors that came out around that time?" asked Touma.

" How could I not. I saw something that I still can't describe. Everything I know says that I couldn't have seen what I saw." He replied as his attention turned to Nasuti.

" Believe what you saw." Replied Seiji ushering Nasuti into his seat and leaning on a wall for support.

" Five armored warriors…" sighed the Doctor scanning the room," I should have guessed that there would be some sort of healer with you."

" Yeah, but it comes with a price." Seiji massaged his temples and spoke softly.

" Okay, I've seen what you can do first hand but why?" 

" We can't answer that." Replied Ryo," We're not really sure ourselves."

" I'm sure finding medical attention when you need it has been hard. How do you explain sword wounds and the like without giving away who you are."

" Yes." Replied Seiji," My ability to heal is limited. I can fix it after it's been patched up, or make broken bones mend but I can't force anyone to let me heal them. There is also a price to pay for using my healing."

" What kind of price?" asked Dr. Okawa.

" Migraines," replied Seiji softly," Depending on how extensive the healing exhaustion."

Dr. Okawa looked suddenly concerned," And now?" 

Seiji looked up sharply," I'm fine, this headache isn't from healing Shin."

Shin looked down at his hands but didn't say a word. In all reality, he was embarrassed by his reaction. He had never meant to slap Seiji. Tears welled up as Shin tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings. Everything was a jumble, a tangled knot of confusion and pain. Desperate to take his mind off the pain he began pulling at the bandages wrapped around his arms.

Touma watched the cloud of emotion pass across Shins face before the tears began to fall and understood completely. When he began tearing at the bandages, Touma sat on the edge of the bed. Remembering Shin's reaction to Seiji, he held his hand out to the smaller man.

" Let me help." Said Touma softly as he held out his hand.

Shin gave him a deer caught in the headlights look before slowly putting his hand in Touma's," Can we just go home." Whispered Shin.

" It's going to take some time, they had you in here for a reason." Replied Touma unwrapping the gauze," You scared me Shin, I thought I had lost you." Shin was silent, unwilling to answer," I know you don't want to talk about it right now but you'll need to talk about it. I'll be waiting when you're ready."

" Dr. Okawa, when can I leave?" asked Shin," I just wanna go home."

" Soon, I'll work on it." Replied the doctor," I'll probably have you out of here in a couple of hours though a lot of people will question it and it goes against my better judgement."

" I'm sorry." Said Shin softly," I just want to go home."

" Okay," said Ryo taking command," Can you make that happen?"

" I'd like to get Nasuti home too." Said Seiji giving his wife a measured look.

" If someone leaves a car I'll stay back to drive Shin home." Replied Touma.

" Okay," replied Ryo," Suti, will you leave your jeep for Touma and Shin. The rest of us can go home and get ready for you guys." 

" Yeah, no problem," Replied Nasuti handing her keys to Touma," I'm ready to go home too, I'm pretty tired." 

" All right," replied Dr. Okawa," I'm going to work on Shin's release."

" Do either of you need anything before we go?" asked Shuu turning to Shin and Touma.

" No, I think we'll be okay." Replied Touma pulling a chair up to Shin's bed." I have my cell phone if we need anything."

" I'll take care of dinner tonight." Said Shuu, " I'll just stop off at the restaurant."

" Would you just go, all of you. I don't need anyone to stay." Said Shin.

" Stop it Shin." Cried Nasuti," I don't know what's wrong but whatever it is we're here for you. I Ow!" Nasuti grabbed her stomach and Shin's head snapped up.

" Suti?" questioned Seiji.

" I'm fine, the baby just kicked." 

" How much time do you have left?" asked Dr. Okawa," Not much I'm guessing."

" Five weeks." Replied Nasuti.

" This is too much stress for you, Who's your normal doctor?" 

" I don't have one." Blushed Nasuti," I couldn't find some one that I trusted. I've had all of my checkup but no ultrasound."

" At least you did that much." Replied the doctor," I own a private practice across the street from the Date-Sasaki Dojo. I want to see you tomorrow for an ultrasound."

" I'm one of the owners of that dojo," said Seiji," You can ride with me and then I'll be able to be there with you."

" Don't forget to drink lots of water before you come[1]." Said Dr. Okawa moving towards the door.

Touma watched the whole scene carefully. Everyone was tense, including the doctor, and it showed in their behavior. Ryo was too quiet and Shuu was pacing nervously across the floor. Seiji was scared. His stance was the same confident mask but his violet eyes betrayed the emotional storm raging within. It frightened Touma to see them that way. Shin was their support but he knew that wasn't going to work, Shin needed the support. He watched as everyone said their good byes to Shin and began filing out of the room.

" I'll be right back." Touma said to Shin before following everyone out. Once outside he closed the door," Ryo, are we back to a lockdown?"

" Yes." Replied Ryo softly," Can you handle this right now Touma? Are we all going to fall apart?"

" We're going to be fine." Said Touma running a hand through his hair," Something happened to make him do this. I'm sure of it. We're going to have to be strong for him. We'll survive this. We can talk more later tonight." 

" All right. We'll see you later. Call before you come so we can be ready." Said Ryo.

" Okay, but you freaked me out with some of the lockdown stuff. I know he set it up this way but it might be harder on him than it was on me." Said Touma.

" Hopefully it makes both of you realize how hard this is on the rest of us." Snapped Ryo.

" You had a right to be angry with me but something tells me we can't be angry with Shin. Not right now, maybe not ever. We know Shin, this was really out of character, that means we have to find out what's wrong. He's always been there for us, it's our turn now. Pretending that nothing happened will only make it worse. Trust me, when you're that desperate some one has to intervene." Touma took a deep breath," Something is really wrong, I just don't know what."

" Alright, I get it, I'll try and check my temper." Said Ryo," We're still running the lockdown."

" I understand." 

" Touma," said Seiji softly," This is even more serious this time. He's been cutting himself for a long time, this has been building and it's going to take a lot longer to fix."

" I understand that, but I don't think you understand. This isn't something you can just fix." Touma felt the tears slowly escape," I understand why he would do this. I understand that there are times when you feel so numb that the only way to remember you're alive is to see if you still bleed, to see if you feel pain. It's a terrifying place to be."

" You're right, I sorry."

~*~~*~~*~~*~

Shin sat silently in the passenger seat of Nasuti's jeep. He had been silent since their friends had left. It took an hour but Dr. Okawa got Shin released despite his admittance. Touma watched Shin, accepting the silence as fact rather than trying to fill it with endless chatter. Once in the jeep he knew he had to get Shins key to the drawers.

" Shin, I need your key." Said Touma softly.

" I know." Replied Shin as he removed the key from his keys.

~*~~*~~*~~*~

[1] You have to have a full bladder for the ultrasound. 

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Authors Note- Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Life's kind of gotten in the way. It was a rough summer, I left my Boyfriend of 2 ½ years because he cheated, I lost my best friend because she knew and didn't tell me until after the girl he cheated with came forward. Life's great. I'll have another chapter out soon.


	4. The Hard Cold Truth

Authors note- Hi! Here's chapter three, I hope you like it. It's going to start getting more angsty so be prepared. This could become very dark before the end. The language will get bad from here too so if you don't like it don't read cause I see no point in using nonsense to cover up words we all know. Due to computer issues, I've had trouble keeping my format so sorry if it's hard to read this chapter. This should help though.  
  
"" speaking  
  
** Thoughts  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own RW/YST nor do I claim to. I'm poor so don't sue me you won't get much.  
  
To Lose Trust  
Chapter four  
The Hard Cold Truth  
  
Touma looked up the stairs towards his bedroom. The heavy door was closed and it had been that way for nearly a week. Shin stayed in there, hid was more like it but nobody said a word as long as he made it down for meals. It had been nearly a week since they left the hospital and the water warrior had yet to even shower. Touma was worried so he paced. No one else seemed ready to do anything and that worried him even more. Sure, this tactic had worked with him, the source of his depression still illusive to even the warrior of trust, but it wasn't working on Shin.  
  
" Touma, if you have so much extra energy why don't you go out and practice or something." Said Ryo coming out of the kitchen," Shuu's already out there practicing."  
  
" How long are we going to let this go on Ryo?" asked Touma.  
  
" He'll snap out of it eventually." Replied Ryo," I know this is hard Touma, it's killing all of us but what else can we do?"  
  
" We could try to get him to talk." Replied Touma frustrated," We could all sit down and try to figure this out. Try to find out what happened to make him want to die."  
  
" It worked with you."  
  
" It wasn't the same." Replied Touma," I didn't really want to die. I didn't beg Shin to let me die. I didn't lash out at Seiji or refuse to be touched by anyone." Touma ran a long fingered hand though his hair," I didn't lock myself away either."  
  
" I don't know." Replied Ryo," The problem is none of us know what to do."  
  
" Well, I'm tired of just sitting here and doing nothing." Replied Touma finally making up his mind," Shin's going to get out of bed and take a shower."  
  
*I can handle this, it can't be any different than before.*  
  
Determined, Touma made his way up the stairs towards the room he shared with Shin. When he opened the door, it was dark in the room. Shin lay on the bed in a pair of blue sweatpants and a plain shirt. Making his way to the dresser he began getting out clean clothes for Shin along with a towel and washcloth.  
  
" Shin, it's time to get up and get a shower." Said Touma firmly.  
  
" Then you go take one."  
  
" You need to get up Shin. Staying in bed isn't going to solve anything." Replied Touma," Either get up and go get a shower or I'll help you get up."  
  
" Fuck you."  
  
Touma took his armload into the bathroom across the hall and started the shower. As soon as it was warm he removed his socks to give himself better grip and headed back to his room with a grim face. He quickly made sure that the path to the bathroom was clear of breakables just as Seiji came up the stairs.  
  
" What's going on Touma?" asked Seiji," Is Shin up and about now?"  
  
" No, he will be in a few minutes." Replied Touma.  
  
" Really?" asked Seiji slightly stunned.  
  
" Yes, do me a favor and have the first aid kit ready." Replied Touma entering his room.  
  
Inside the room, Shin had pulled his blankets up over his face to block out the bright overhead light. The thin scars running up his arms shone brightly against his tanned skin when he threw his arm over the blanket covering his face. Touma shook his head, grabbed the blanket, and pulled it off Shin.  
  
" I'm warning you right now Shin." Said Touma gently," I will make you get up if you should choose not to get up on your own."  
  
" Fuck you, Touma, just leave me alone." Came the muffled reply.  
  
Touma reached down and grabbed Shin by the arm hauling the older man to his feet. At first Shin was too stunned to struggle, the shear surprise of being hauled out of bed by his friend staying any struggle he could put up. It didn't take long though. They were barely to the door when Shin reversed the hold and threw the first punch. Touma expected the move and the punch barely grazed his cheek but gave him a clean shot to grasp Shins other hand.  
  
" Stop fighting me Shin." Said Touma softly.  
  
" No, I said No." replied Shin.  
  
Touma continued to struggle with Shin as they made their way to the bathroom, the smaller warrior used his strong legs to brace himself against Touma's wiry frame. Once inside, his socks slid easily making it easy for Touma to maneuver him to the large shower but as soon as the door closed behind them Shin redoubled his efforts, fighting as though possessed. Amazingly enough, he pulled his arms away from Touma and began throwing punches as though fighting for his life. The first punch landed squarely in the jaw with dizzying force while the second threatened to knock the breath out of him. With little time to think things through, Touma wrapped his arms around Shin pinning the water warriors arms to his body and walked them both into the running shower.  
  
" Shin, calm down." Said Touma standing under the warm water with Shin," I'll let you go when you calm down."  
  
" I said no." replied Shin still fighting against Touma's strong arms.  
  
" Yes, you said no." replied Touma confused," I would never hurt you."  
  
Shin began to relax into his chest," I said no." Shin began to tremble," I said no, Touma. I said no and they wouldn't stop and I couldn't move. They wouldn't stop Touma."  
  
Realization was chased through his head by the fear of what Shin was saying. The shower, warm as it was seemed suddenly cold falling upon their heads. Shin's knees failed to continue to support his slight weight as the words tumbled from his lips like water and Touma slowly eased them down to the tiled floor.  
  
" I think they put something in my drink. I couldn't make anyone hear me, the link stopped working and they wouldn't stop. I told them no Touma." Shin continued to cry in Touma's arms," Why wouldn't they stop Touma? Why?"  
  
" Oh, god, Shin." Sobbed Touma," You could have told us."  
  
" I. I was afraid Touma," cried Shin," I was so afraid that you wouldn't believe me, and," His eyes were so afraid it broke Touma's heart," I didn't want anyone to touch me, I was afraid they'd hurt me. I'm so dirty Touma and no matter how much I shower I don't feel clean."  
  
" You're not dirty, Shin." Replied Touma wishing he hadn't used the shower to get him out of bed.  
  
" After a couple of days everything went numb. It was like I couldn't feel anything anymore. It was an accident the first time." The words continued to tumble out and Touma did nothing to stop the flow," I was cutting stuff up for stew and it just happened. I felt it and knew that I could still feel. If I put my armor on after, they heal quickly. I haven't been able to stop. I'm scared Touma. I don't know what to do. "  
  
" I'm going to help." Hushed Touma," We need to tell the others." He felt Shin stiffen," They'll believe you. If not I'll beat some sense into them."  
  
" Why do you care?" yelled Shin throwing up his angry wall," Why the fuck do you have to care?"  
  
" I care because you're my friend." *No, tell him idiot. Tell him!*" I just do Shin."  
  
Shin started to struggle against Touma once more," You shouldn't! You shouldn't care because I'm just a piece of trash. Something that's been used and tossed aside." 


End file.
